The Quest for the Holy Grate

Ebay is a funny place.

We heat our home with a wood stove which is located in the basement. Recently, in case you hadn't noticed or don't live in Connecticut, it's been really damn cold outside. The heat from the wood stove travels up the stairway to get into the main floor of the house, but we'd like to put a grate in the floor to allow more warm air to come up to the living space so that less fleece and wool need to be worn inside of the house. Which takes me to Ebay.

Two months ago I began the hunt for a cool old floor grate on Ebay. And there are plenty of them. I figured it would be a piece of cake but, once again, I was wrong. Back in November I bid on and won a grate that looked very cool. It was cast iron and in great shape. It had a flap that opened and closed and a scrollwork face. I managed to snag it for $10 plus shipping and was pretty psyched until I got it. First off, it was cracked, which I think happened during shipping. Secondly, the one free listing photo that Ebay offers was a front shot of the grate which hid the fact that it stood a couple of inches off the floor because it was actually meant to be in the wall. If we did put it in, I would trip over it and then something else would be cracked, like my ankle bone or my skull. Time to start over.

Unfortunately, December seems to be a hot time to buy a floor grate on Ebay and I couldn't find one I was willing to pay for. The prices shot way up from the $10 I bought to at least $50. I looked and looked and then gave up. Christmas time, etc. etc. I just wasn't in the grate-shopping mood.

Oh, and if by now you're wondering why I didn't just buy a new one, #1, you must not know me. I think that old stuff is so much better than new stuff (for the house, at least). And #2, you must have never shopped for a grate. We're looking for a sizable one, at least 12" square, hopefully bigger. These go for about $225 brand new.

So recently I sold some stuff on Ebay and had a bit of cash sitting in my Paypal account. I figured that, since I never actually held the money, I only traded it for some old junk I wasn't using anyway, it wasn't real money and it wouldn't hurt as much as if I spent real money on a grate. So I was back on the hunt.

I found one I loved, watched it, bid on it, and lost it to a person with the Ebay ID of island_resident. Crap. I found another, watched it, bid on it, and lost it to island_resident. Grr! Three times, island_resident outbid me and I was mad. I wanted to see what this person (I, for some reason, imagine that it's a man) was buying. I checked his feedback - which was very good - and checked to see what he had been buying and what he was paying for it. For the past week, at least, all he has been buying are cast iron grates. Bunches of them. And he pays a lot for them. I don't think, in the past three days, that he had paid less that $70 for one! What on earth could he be doing with all of these expensive grates? I am intrigued.

There was one grate that I really loved that was holding at about $50. I was prepared to go to $75 until I saw that my buddy, island_resident, was now in on the bidding. I said to Luke, "I just know he's willing to pay over $100 for that thing". And he did. I bowed out and he got it for $114. Seriously! Where is he getting this money and why is he stealing all of the good grates?

Last night I finally found a grate that was ratty enough that even island_resident didn't want it. It's big and it's all rusty with peeling paint. Perfect! I love it. We placed our bid and waited and waited. The auction was ending just after 8:00 last night and we had to pause the movie we were watching to go and keep and eye on the bidding. I had a knot in my stomach thinking that island_resident was going to swoop in at the last minute and snatch it from me but we sat and watched that last five minutes of the auction, refreshing the screen constantly, and we managed to win it. Hallelujah.

I'm trying not to get too excited, though. It's a big grate, about 14" x 17" and if the Post Office could manage to break a 10" x 12" grate, I'm a little concerned about this one. It's also coming Parcel Post which means a longer time in the system and a slower delivery. I just really hope that it comes in decent shape (peeling paint and rust aside) because I really don't want to go through this all over again. And warmer weather is on the way.