The Houseguest

Since I've been asked about it, I thought I might talk about something I alluded to earlier: my mother-in-law staying at my house. Before I begin, I just want to report that everything is OK, my marriage is intact, and no one has been suffocated with a pillow in their sleep.

About three weeks ago on a lovely Saturday afternoon, Luke and I were in Vermont shopping for a truck. I was excited because I had coerced Luke to stop at Yankee Candle in Deerfield, MA on the way home for some shopping, I mean for lunch. I love Yankee Candle and Luke... well not so much. He has tolerated Yankee Candle once or twice in the past when they had a car museum in the building. Now that they don't, I can't convince him to go, so getting him to stop there for lunch (wink, wink) was a big victory for me. I had him park at the far side of the building so we had to walk through the entire place to get to the restaurant (sneaky of me) and we were about 10 feet into the building when his cell phone rang.

Crap.

It was a friend of Luke's mom's saying that she had fallen and she hurt her arm and was at the emergency room in Manchester and she wanted him to come.

Like I said: crap.

We turned around, candle-less, lunch-less, and headed back to Connecticut to see Luke's mom. She had tripped on her way into Shady Glen. She fell forward and onto her arms and wound up shattering the ball in her shoulder. She would require surgery, possible shoulder replacement, but the emergency room couldn't do anything for her, other than give her medication and the name of an orthopedic surgeon to call on Monday. She couldn't do anything herself, she could barely manage sipping from a water bottle, and since she lives alone, I knew we had to take her to our home until she could get to the doctor and have her shoulder fixed.

Two weeks ago, she had a partial shoulder replacement, meaning they replaced her shattered ball and a portion of the bone leading up to the ball with titanium, and she's doing much better. And now It's time for her to go home.

I never considered myself particularly compulsive, or a neat freak in any way, but whenever we have anyone stay with us for any length of time, they drive me INSANE. We have another friend who lives out of state and stays for weeks at a time while he's working in CT and I adore him. I look forward to his visits and I miss him when he's gone, but after about two weeks at our house, I could kill him. And it's completely my fault. It's just that he doesn't follow our schedule. He's loud and perky in the morning when we're used to quiet and grumpy mornings. He asks a lot of questions like a little kid when we watch TV or movies, when Luke and I are used to such quiet that we practically communicate through ESP. He leaves his socks in the living room. He spills sugar on the counter and leaves it there. These are all silly things that drive me nuts. Poor Luke. How has he manage to learn my rules and live with me this long?

I digress. So yes, it's time for Luke's mom to go home. This Saturday she's moving back to her condo, and next week, Luke will be duct taping Molly's mouth shut while he tries to sleep during the day. Right now, Molly hangs out with Luke's mom all day, watching TV and snuggling on the couch. This means that she can see out the windows and bark at every threatening leaf and bird that drifts by. Next week, she will be forced to sleep with Luke in the bedroom where she will hopefully learn to stop barking so much and waking him up. Of course, if she can't, maybe I'll be forced to bring her to work every day. Wouldn't that be a shame.

Adjusting

Monday morning (or is that Sunday night) was Luke's first day (night?) working third shift and now we're all trying our best to adjust. He had to come home from Easter dinner at my sister's on Sunday to take a nap before he left for work at 11:30pm. He's been looking forward to this change for a long time so he was prepared for the adjustment. I have been apprehensive about the change for a long time, but I'm willing to see how it goes.

Here's how it goes: we all need more sleep. Except for Molly, she's adjusting fine. She sleeps with me at night and with Luke during the day. She gets half the bed to herself. She's thrilled.

Previous to this schedule change, we were generally in bed by 10pm and I was out like a light by, oh, about 10:02pm. It seems though, in these last two days, that if I stay awake past that 10pm point, I don't need to sleep at all! I'm wide awake. Sunday night/Monday morning, I stayed up in bed reading until 2am. I had to force myself to stop reading and turn out the light because it was getting ridiculous. Same thing happened last night but I made myself turn the light out at midnight. I'm sleeping better than expected in an empty bed, and I'm waking up just fine, but about an hour after I wake up, I feel like a zombie. I can't remember anything, I can't focus, and obviously, I can't tell an interesting story either. Sorry about that.

Luke's doing OK so far. Yesterday he slept for a few hours after he came home from work at 10am, and then he napped a little before work. The worst part for him is, as he referred to her, Barkums. Molly barks in a shrill, ear piercing way when we're home and she sees something outside. We're trying to break her of this, but you have to physically threaten her with Bitter Apple to get her to stop. Yesterday Luke was trying to sleep and a delivery guy came rolling up the driveway. Then someone stopped by to pick up Luke's mom for a doctor's appointment, then they came to bring her back. Each time, Barkums just couldn't stop herself from alerting Luke of the danger. We're going to have to work on this some more.

One good thing I've noticed about Luke's new schedule so far is his mood. He's a new man. It might be that he's just too tired to be anything but mellow, but I don't think so. It's amazing for me to watch him. He's generally so short tempered and frustrated. Sunday night, just before he had to leave for work, our toilet decided to explode all over the floor, which normally would result in swearing, slamming, and yelling from Luke. Instead, he was laughing and shaking his head in disbelief. Who is this man? I came home last night and he was washing dishes. If this is what I get to live with from now on, I'd be more than happy to live without sleep.

Another good thing is that I have more time to read. It's been so long since I read a book - I've almost forgotten how. I used to read everyday on my lunch break, but then I started to go meet Luke for lunch everyday and the reading stopped. Don't get me wrong, I loved having lunch with Luke, but the driving and the paying for coffee and the rushing - that I won't miss. And now I can READ! Yay! Right now I'm trying to finish up my last book club book, Bookends, by Jane Green and I have Goodnight Nobody, by Jennifer Werner that I started and never finished. And Flann and Amanda gave me books to read that have been collecting dust on my book shelf. I'm very excited at having more time to read.

So all in all, it's good. We're adjusting. It's only been two days (or nights) so far but I think it might just work out OK.

The Ever-Evolving Party Above My Shoulders

I did it again. More changes. I really don't like my hair. I wish I had someone else's hair. Someone with thick, luxurious long hair. Sadly, I may have been born with a swell craft gene and a brain that can hold onto random bits of trivia and song lyrics, but I definitely wasn't blessed with hair.

I tried cutting bangs, that didn't work for me. I tried getting a flat iron and styling it straight. Still not working. I called my sister (my hairdresser) this week and told her that I need an emergency appointment. I want all of my hair cut off.

I had her cut it off about a year ago and although everyone liked it and I pretty much liked it, Luke couldn't stand it and I was tired of hearing him complain, so I grew it back. I want to be someone with long hair. I've always pictured myself as an old lady with long gray braids, but just because I can grow it doesn't mean I should have it. I was starting to look like a hag with nasty, scraggly hair. But not any longer. This morning I stopped by my sister's salon for a shearing. It's all gone. It's also straight right now because she likes to blow-dry it straight, but I can't wait to wash it and see how curly it gets.

Now I have bouncy, perky hair. Short and flouncy. Actually, in one picture I took of myself I looked just like Amanda - glasses and all. Maybe secretly I want to be Amanda - except for that pregnancy thing, of course.

Obviously Not Bold Enough

On Flannery's recommendation, I bought myself a pair of new glasses from Zenni Optical and here they are. Bright, no? Sorry about the ghostly pallor of the photo. Mostly that's my real skin tone, but it's accentuated nicely by the flash and the bad lighting in my office.

I figured, since Zenni's glasses were so incredibly cheap, I could afford to get myself some fun glasses. I've always wanted to have a selection of glasses to pick from every morning. I've had the same pair for three years now and, as nice as they are, sometimes I'm just sick of them. Just for fun, I ordered new glasses. RED glasses. And hardly anyone has noticed.

A few people close to me noticed right away and had mixed reactions. My neighbor made fun of her husband for not noticing the difference by saying "how could you NOT notice??" My sister said "you have new glasses - do you like them?" which I think meant that she didn't like them, and my nephew really wanted to know where my old glasses were. My mom politely noticed and Luke called me Harry Potter when he saw them for the first time. Surprisingly though, no one else has noticed.

My boss keeps looking at me strangely like she suspects something is different but just can't place it. Other people I work alongside haven't said a thing either. It's not that I want everyone to notice, I'm not that narcissistic, I just thought they were hugely different and hard to miss.

Either way, I love them. They're fun and I'm off to order another pair from Zenni. If you wear glasses, I would highly recommend them. These red beauties only cost me $30, including shipping. Less than 10% of a pair at the local eyeglass shop!

The Barf is All Around Me

Everyone I know who has kids seems to be suffering with some nasty little stomach bug at the moment. My sister's kids were sick this weekend, my boss's visiting grandkids were sick, a boy at the grocery store got sick in the aisle right next to me - almost ON me. Then yesterday my boss was home sick and I woke up early this morning to a restless Luke who thought he was going to throw up. Great. I'm trying to hold my breath, not touch anything, and use Clorox wipes on everything. I really don't want this.

Wild Weekend

So much went on this weekend, but I got absolutely nothing done, and my head is still spinning.

Between Saturday and Sunday, we planned out our new deck and shopped for materials, shopped for a new motorcycle, shopped for a new truck for Luke, went to see Amanda in Love Letters - it was fantastic - settled on buying a new motorcycle, spent about an hour sitting on said motorcycle at the dealership, decided not to buy said motorcycle from the dealership, shopped for new aquarium supplies, made a lasagna, went to Paula's for dinner, and decided that now I want to trade in my car for a new Yaris. What is going on?

See what happens when you pay off your credit card? As I wrote to one friend, I'm feeling a little too unburdened by debt, so I thought I should buy something new. I'm kind of sad about the motorcycle, but fear not! I'm still shopping. Anyone out there looking to sell a used Buell XB12SS?

Turkey Dance

Have you ever seen a pack of wild turkeys? It's actually pretty funny. They're weird, jerky things that have amazing eyesight and are really uglier in person than you'd imagine. A few years back there was a big pack (flock?) of them that made a circuit through the neighborhood and would always stop in our back yard. Their clucks and gobbles would wake us up some mornings and Luke counted almost 40 one day. Since that winter, we haven't seen them in the neighborhood so it was an exciting surprise to come home to this lovely pattern all over my yard yesterday. Turkeys! They visited all of my bird feeders and wandered around the garden. We threw out some cracked corn this morning to see if they'll come back again. Gobble gobble!

Shifting into Third

I'm scared.

If any of you out there happen to be married to a UPS guy, you know that on a regular basis, your UPS guy gets to bid on a new job. UPS and the Teamsters have worked it out so that at each bid, the employees are all sorted by seniority (how long they've been in the union) and then they go in this order, top down, to choose what job they want. If they like the current delivery route they're on, they bid that one and keep it. If there's another route they would like better that someone with less seniority has, they can take it from them. They can also choose jobs inside the warehouse, like unloading and loading the trucks, or car wash. basically, if you're a high-seniority guy, you get your pick of everything. If you're a low-seniority guy, you probably won't get what you want, you're left with whatever everyone else didn't choose.

For my UPS guy, he's about mid-level in seniority and he's been tying himself in knots these past few weeks, waiting to see what's going to happen to him this year. He's been driving a delivery truck for seven years now and he's pretty frustrated and worn-out. He's been hoping to get a job inside the warehouse, which would be nice for him. No more traffic or cold. No dragging a hand cart through a snow drifts. But it also means that he has to work third shift. This terrifies me and just typing "third shift", my heart rate went up a little.

We found out yesterday that he got the third shift pre-load job, one of the two jobs he was hoping for. I want so badly to be happy for him. He works so hard and he's been doing the same thing for seven years, wearing the same clothes day after day after day. Meanwhile, I've changed jobs three times and I get to put on something new and pretty every day. It doesn't seem fair and I want him to be happy. But when will I see him? I don't know.

We're pretty much attached at the hip when we're home. If I'm painting or making jewelry, he's right beside me at the computer. If he's working on his dirt bike, I'm helping him. We get firewood together, we do yard work together, we watch movies together. This third shift thing is going to change all that. I don't sleep well when I'm alone in the house and he's going to be gone the hours that I'll be sleeping. How's that going to work? Molly's pretty psyched because she's never going to be home alone now. I'll leave for work and Luke will come home right after that. I'll get home from work and a few hours later, Luke will leave for work.

When I spell it all out, it seems like it should be fine. As long as he comes home from work and goes to sleep, it should work out. Then he'll be awake when I get home from work and we'll be able to spend time together before he leaves and I go to bed. It just sounds so scary. I know there are millions of couples who have been doing this for years. I've just never had to think about it and t worries me. So I thought I'd tell you about it. Thanks for listening.

Damn Tired

I realized that I never explained my earlier mention of my "day of outrage and frustration" and, being nice readers of this blog, I know that you would be disappointed if I didn't complain just a little each week. Rather than give you the story in long, pathetic detail, I thought I'd sum up the highlights, a la those credit card commercials.

Four tires at Sam's Club, two pieces of pizza and two sodas at the Sam's Club cafeteria, two coffees at Borders, and three hours of waiting only to come back to Sam's and find that they refused to put tires on my car because I'm missing one stud on one tire, then waiting in line at the customer service desk, trying (unsucessfully) not to cry, in order to get my check back for the tires I wouldn't be getting that day: $482.81

Four tires at Town Fair, three beers at Pepe's, and two hours of wandering around Hall's Archery and Pet Supplies Plus only to come back to TFT and find that they refused to put tires on my car because, strangely since I left Sam's Club, I now have two studs on my front tire that are chewed up so badly that TFT won't put tires on, fearing they might snap the studs off: $532.16

Five new studs, fourteen new lug nuts, a trip to ACME and two Auto Zone locations, two trips to my dad's to borrow tools, a day of taking my car apart and putting it back together: $72.14

Having new tires and not having to worry about them again for (hopefully) another five years: priceless

Invasion

I'm being attacked and I refuse to submit.

As per my last post, you see that I have a long list of things to do in the next five days. Now is not the time to get sick. I feel lousy, I ache and I'm whiny, but I'm trying to stay positive. I'm fighting back with echinacea, elderberry, zinc and vitamin c, oh, and a big healthy dose of positive thinking.

I. AM. NOT. SICK.

Once, in college, it was final exam time and I was starting to develop one killer of a cold. I remember sitting quietly in my room, breathing deeply and thinking that I cannot get sick, I will not get sick, I can will myself to feel better. I basically meditated on feeling healthy, then drank a half gallon of orange juice and went to bed. The next day I felt better. I'm hoping the same strategy will work again because the last thing I want now is to be sick. I am not sick!

Chocolate Overload

This is a small aside, because you know how your computer can remember the things you type and suggest them to you as you go? Like in the name field of a form, I type an "L" and a drop-down box will suggest "Lisa" so I don't have to type the whole thing. Well just now, as I started to type "Chocolate" in the title field, this was suggested to me: "chocolate AND pot". Who has been using my computer? I especially like the all caps "AND" which, I assume, is from a boolean search, but I like to think it was just the excitement. Chocolate AND pot? No way!

OK, anyhow, what I was going to talk about is chocolate and the vast quantities I have consumed in the past week. It's disgusting how much chocolate I've eaten recently. I just can't help it. Holiday baking, holiday parties, holiday gifts of M&Ms which cannot remain uneaten in my presence, it's a horrible law of nature.

Last night we had a family holiday party at my house and, of course, there was plenty of chocolate. I consumed a better part of it and by midnight had one killer tummy ache. I haven't done that since I was like ten years old. I couldn't fall back to sleep and lay awake in bed thinking that in the morning, if I survived, I would pledge to go all day without chocolate. I survived and I pledged and I want chocolate. I brought raisins and pears to work and thought I'd eat those when I wanted chocolate. Well, it's just not working.

I think I'm addicted. I should go to a support group. Hello, my name is Lisa, and it's been eighteen hours since my last piece of chocolate. Wait, does hot chocolate count?

Thank You!

(I took a really grainy shot of Molly so I thought I'd make it more interesting with Photoshop. She looks good with blue and yellow hair!)

Thank you to everyone who came out to the spectacular shopping night on Friday, a great time was had by all. A big thank you to Karen (of Simply June) and Karin (of the new KG Photography) for participating and selling, and especially to Deb offering wonderful free chair massages. Many gifts were purchased, and many snacks were consumed. It was a fun night.

If you couldn't make it out - don't despair - you can still visit Simply June's online store here, and you can visit my jewelry shop here and my art shop here.

Friday was a long and busy day for me. It started at 8am with an appointment to have my emissions test done. As per my last post about my car, I was fully prepared to fail. I had already bought a service manual, priced out some parts, steeled myself for the bad news and then I heard the words from the large man behind the counter - you passed. I what?? I was so happy I bounced out of there.

From there I went to the grocery store for snack supplies and Jo-Ann Etc. for MORE beads while I waited for Sam's Club to open so I could get my new tires. This was the third time I tried to get tires there but was turned away becasue of the wait. I stopped in on Thursday at 3:30 in the afternoon and was told there were six cars in line before me and it would be at least 3 hours before they could get to my car. Friday, I got there at 10am when they opened and there were already four people in line in front of me. The man at the desk told the first people in line that it would be about a three hour wait. Ug. By the time they got to me it would have been over a four hour wait and I just didn't have that kind of time.

I did a little more shopping, bought Molly and I some festive gear at Old Navy, and went home where I proceeded to cook for five hours straight. I was exhausted by the time the party started. But I was happy, it was great to see everyone - thanks again!

Brrrrr!

OK, I take it all back. That stuff a I said about "come on snow" - strike that. The 60-degree weather in December? It can come back.

Yesterday I didn't post because I didn't regain the feeling in my fingers until late in the evening. I spent four hours of the morning out in the freezing cold and intermittent snow just where you'd want to be: hugging a massive steel gate. I was volunteered to help another employee apply reflective vinyl to the new, massive gates that were installed on campus. It was 30 degrees and windy but it had to be done. We couldn't wear gloves because the vinyl stuck to them, and at times when it was snowing and our frozen skin became wet from the melting flakes, I worried we might get stuck to the cold metal like Flick in The Christmas Story. My knuckles were bleeding and didn't realize it, my fingers swelled so badly when I came back inside that it hurt where my wedding ring was cutting off the circulation to my finger. It was great.

I found out that I had been volunteered to help in this project when I was on my way from my car to my office that morning. It had been the kind of morning where it took me over an hour to get to work, it was snowing so hard at home that I couldn't see the road, my car, which badly needs tires, skidded all over the road, and there was so much traffic for no good reason that I nearly ran out of gas on the highway. I finally made it to the parking lot at work, pried myself out of the car and was walking stiffly to my office when a co-worker stopped to tell me the good news. I had a conversation with him, then walked away and thought - did I remember to do my hair this morning?

Ya, it was that kind of a day.

Age

Since I can't think of anything interesting to write about today, preparing for the big shopping night has wiped me out, I decided to take one of the suggestions from a blog inspiration website (which I can't find again and can't remember the name of) and the question was:

What age would you like to be?

I would have to say eight years old. It was 1984. I was in the third grade, learning cursive, finally enjoying school a little. I got my first pair of skis and went to Florida for the first time. I took my first drawing lessons with Mrs. Sobol. I didn't care about mortgages or car payments or the electric company planning to raise my bill 34%. I didn't care about my hair or weight or looks in general since it would be another six years before I met Luke. I had four grandparents, no one I knew had died, I hadn't faced tragedy, and living in a small small town, I don't think I even faced any mean kids yet. There was no cable, no MTV, no reality TV. I had no reason to lust after a new MacBook, seeing as how there were no home computers. I had no concept of war, I had never heard of Al Queda, and I didn't know who George Bush was. I had never had my heart broken or my trust betrayed. It was a good time.

Of course, at eight I also had never fallen in love or felt the joy of home ownership. I had never ridden my motorcycle down a sunny country road and never felt the warmth of my puppy-dog sleeping next to me. I had never held my newborn nephews and made them smile and I had never felt the pride of receiving a college diploma. And I had never blogged.

OK, I take it back. Thirty is my answer. I would like to be thirty years old.

I'm Back

Well, after two weeks of sleepless stress, a twelve-hour work day on Friday, a punctured finger, a funeral on Saturday morning and an overnight babysitting gig watcing my 4- and 1-year old nephews, I'm back.

I took the day off to sleep in and not do a damn thing for anyone but me. Ironically, I would have had the day off anyhow because the University where I work had no power. I guess I'll just save that vacation day for later.

I spent the morning cleaning the house (that was for me, so it still fell within my day off rules), I listed a couple of new things on Etsy, (by the way, have you been there recently? The new site is BEAUTIFUL! I love it). And I spent the early afternoon designing a postcard to announce the holiday shopping extravaganza we're hosting at my house on December 8th with sparkly Lisa Gaumond goodies and beautiful SimplyJune things. Here's how it looks: You're all invited, so please come! Email me if you need directions. Well Molly's pestering me to go out and I have lasagna noodles burining on the stove, so that's it for now. I'll be back tomoroow - I promise!