Losing Myself

You just don't realize how much of yourself - and the things that make your day function - you carry with you in your purse until you turn around at a stoplight to see that it's missing from the back of your motorcycle.

This is how my afternoon started on Saturday. And I was really mad because I had remembered to say "rabbit, rabbit, rabbit," damn it. I'm supposed to have good luck all month long!

Luke and I needed to run to the Harley shop to get some parts for the Cyclone and since it was all apart in the basement, I hopped on Ol'Bessie and we rode into East Hartford. It was a beautiful day and rather than waste the nice weather speeding down the highway, we got off in Manchester and took the back roads into East Hartford where I happened to turn around and see that the webbed bungee strap that was holding my purse to the back of the bike was now hanging loose and empty. My heart dropped.

I signalled to Luke, showed him the empty purse-carrying strap, and he blew the tightest u-turn ever accomplished on a Ulysses, there should have been an award for that. He raced back the way we came. Slightly slower on Bessie, I made the u-turn and followed, trying to keep my head focused on riding safely and stop my heart from pounding in my ears.

I took mental inventory of my very small purse:

1. My wallet - usually empty of cash actually had $40 in cash, plus my credit card, my new corporate credit card, license, work ID, key card to get into work, (both of which I'd be fined for losing), pistol permit, debit card, and many miscellaneous store cards.
2. My precious pink cell phone - I love that thing!
3. My iPod - the voices in my head, the soundtrack to my life - I cannot live without it. (Plus I just got it for Christmas and Luke would be so pissed at me if I lost it.)
4. My Palm (PDA) - also known as cyber-me. My Palm is the most dangerous of all items in my purse. Not only does it have all of my contacts, addresses, phone numbers, hours of operation, birthdays, anniversaries, appointments, and cute photos of Molly, it also has recently become my electronic check register and it has a vault of passwords, ID numbers, and other critically important information in a password-protected program that, normally I feel safe using, but once I have lost my Palm I start to doubt the security of the password-protection.
5. My glasses - I was wearing my sunglasses and had put my regular glasses into a soft case.
6. My checkbook
7. My keys to everything - home, my car, work, my mom's house, my sister's house, Paula's house, Luke's truck, Luke's Jeep, and others that I'm not sure what they open.
8. My favorite hair clip
9. Several birthday gift certificates- boy did that piss me off, the thought of someone else using my birthday presents while wearing my hair clip, listening to my iPod, and hacking into my Palm.

I'm trying to breathe and shift and drive and signal and break and throttle and breathe. I'm repeating over and over "please, please, please, please" and thinking "why did I just switch from a bright blue purse to a BROWN one? How are we ever going to spot a brown purse on the road!?" I'm mentally backtracking our path and thinking that it could be way back in Bolton! It could be anywhere. We rode on so many roads before we got to East Hartford and I noticed it was missing. I'm thinking that I don't know how I will ever replace everything in my purse and at the same time that I'd rather get my purse back with everything in it smashed to bits, run over by a tractor trailer, than have it gone forever in the hands of some horrible person who would steal my stuff and possibly my identity.

And then I see it. It turns out that brown was a good choice because it looks like a dead animal in the road! Luke spots it first and we watch as a car comes right toward it and then swerves to avoid it. Luke swoops in and kicks it out of traffic. I pull over and go grab it. Would you believe that everything was fine? EVERYTHING. Even my glasses in their soft case were fine. The screens on the palm and iPod were unscratched, my cell phone was unhurt, my wallet and hair clip were still there. I am completely shocked. Totally amazed.

So ladies, be careful with your purses. Hold them tight. And always say "rabbit, rabbit, rabbit."