Crafty Ass Chick

I usually don't swear on this blog cause, you know, my mom is reading, but I found this site today and it was so cute, I figured Mom would forgive me. I love it! There are even cute little craft kits in case you want to get all crafty, too. Go check it out! www.craftyasschick.com

What's Going On Here?

OK, to steal a line from South Park, have I broken a funny fuse? Either there's something wrong with the entire movie-watching world, or Luke and I have busted fuses. Not only did we recently not enjoy The Wedding Crashers, which many people that I know liked, but last night we watched The Matador, which friends had told us was HILARIOUS, and we couldn't stand it. What is going on?

I had half a dozen moments where I sort of "ha" laughed, more chuckled, I suppose, but "hilarous" wasn't a word that ever came into my mind. Who directed that thing? IMDB tells me it was Richard Shepard. Luke, at one point said, "this looks like a cheap Quentin Tarantino movie", and he was right on. The bizarre scenes for no apparent reason: Juian (Pierce Brosnan) walking through the lobby in his Speedo, heading for the pool, then dropping into the water, sunglasses on, drink in hand, where he sees - a shark? What in the world was that about. I think there are less outrageous ways to show that Julian is starting to fall apart. The giant, cheap-looking titles of: MEXICO and DENVER and BUDAPEST telling you where the scene is taking place, sort of Tarantino-ish, but cheesy. The random, unnecessary sex scenes: the sex scene with the dog chewing on Julian's pant leg - our entire scene in BERLIN - what was the reason for that? I think I got it early on in the movie that Julian filled his non-hit man life with sex and alcohol, I don't think it was necessary to throw random sex scenes in all through the movie to prove that point. I did like how the end wrapped up and brought you back to the earlier scene in Mexico City where something happened to cause Danny to "owe one" to Julian. I liked that. See? I do have positive things to say.

Well anyhow, you get it, something is wrong with me and Luke. We need replacement funny fuses, ours are broken.

Home Sick Movie Reviews- Weekend of August 26th

Hi there - remember me? Yeah, I'm sorry. I was chasing down a cold all last week and was lucky enough to catch it for good on Friday. This was bad becasue of all the aching, nose-blowing, whining, etc. But this was good because I got to spend some quality time with my favorite fuzzy blanket, laying on the couch, watching TV all weekend.

Thanks to TBS and their all-movie weekends, a stop on Friday at Blockbuster, and a good collection of DVDs at home, I was not without movies all weekend long. And this is what I have to say about them all.

Funny Farm with Chevy Chase (from the collection)

I love this movie. Funny Farm and The Princess Bride always come out when I'm not feeling well. They're funny, they're light, and they cheer me right up. Also, if I happen to fall into a drug-induced coma while watching, I can wake up at any point in the movie and still know what's going on. I'm still shocked when someone tells me they've never seen Funny Farm. This usually happens after I make a Redbud or a Yellow Dog reference. (And if you don't know what I'm talking about right now, you need to go see the movie.)

Serendipity with John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale (courtesy of TBS)

Very cute. I've seen parts of this movie before but never the whole thing all the way through. John Cusack was born to play the slightly pathetic, yet still so lovable, yearning-for-love guy, wasn't he? He was cute, Jeremy Previn was so funny, and Kate Beckinsale is beautiful, of course. A sweet love story.

Transporter 2 with Jason Statham (Blockbuster)

I love Jason Statham. I don't care how cheesy the movie is. He could read the phonebook out loud, then win a highly improbable fight wherein he is outnumbered and unarmed except for a jar of mayonnaise and some yarn I'd still say I liked it. The fast-action driving scenes are exciting, the fight scenes entertaining, and the balding man with the ambiguous accent is foxy. I loved this movie.

Mona Lisa Smile with Julia Roberts (from the collection)

What a surprise! I really liked this movie. I borrowed it about a year ago from my mother-in-law and haven't watched it because I thought, for some reason, that I wouldn't like It. I have no idea why because it was fantastic. I can't imagine being a college-aged woman in the early 50's like these girls were. What an incredibly hard time to grow into adulthood. I thought the actors were all fantastic and I wanted all of their hair-dos and skirts! I've loved Ginnifer Goodwin since seeing her on Ed, and despite her incredibly irritating voice, I thought Kirsten Dunst did a great job as the one you love to hate. This was the first time I had seen Maggie Gyllenhaal in a movie and I thought she was excellent. I spent the whole movie trying to figure out why she looked familiar to me. I still don't know why. Julia Roberts, of course, was excelent and the whole really was delightful. I'm still surprised.

Lucas with Corey Haim (courtesy of TBS)

This movie is so sweet. Watching it makes me feel all awkward and embarassed like back when I was in school. Little nerdy Corey Haim is so cute and pathetic, and that redhead, IMDB tells me her name is Kerri Green, she's the same girl from Goonies with the cute face and slight whine to her voice. Lucas is sappy sweet and light and perfect to watch while you're home sick on the couch with a box of tissues.

Wedding Crashers with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson (Blockbuster)

What a disappointment. I love Vince Vaughn as much as I love Jason Statham so it hurt me greatly not to like this movie. I liked parts of it. I laughed in a whole bunch of places. I even loved the ending, but as a whole, it dragged. I found myself looking at the clock constantly because it felt like it went on FOREVER. Funny, funny, booooring, funny, funny, booooring. This is how it went. Like a series of excellent, related skits, threaded together with slow set-ups that pulled it down. So disappointing. But despite the occasional boredom and the extra weight Vince Vaughn packed on for the role, he was still quick and funny and cute. Owen Wilson, though, really needs to get that nose fixed.

Well, that's it from the couch. I'm starting to feel better and now I'm back to work so the movie-reviewing will have to go on hiatus for a while. Until next weekend, at least. I still have The Matador from Blockbuster to watch, so maybe I'll have more to say later.

Hi Mom!

My mom reads my blog but said the other day that she wasn't sure if she should. Well of course she should. Look - she's even on it!

When I started school, I missed my mom so much during the day that I invented reasons to go to the nurse to try to get my little self sent home. Poor Mrs. Peak, the gullible school nurse. Either she was an incredible pushover or she really didn't care, becasue no excuse was too crazy. My underwear was too tight, I got a sliver on the playground, my earrings made my ears hurt, and of course, my favorite excuse: my tummy ached. Anything to get her to call my mom to come get me.

My mom couldn't always come pick me up and I was always so disappointed when one of my grandparents came to get me. Ug, not Grandpa. It was like a wasted excuse to go home because I still wasn't with my mom.

At some point after I started the first grade, I decided to take a picture of my mom to school with me so I wouldn't miss her so much. I framed this picture of her on vacation with my dad and kept it in my pencil box. I would sit at my desk, take my pencil box out of my bag, set up my pencil, my eraser, and my picture of Mom on my desktop. Then I was ready to start the day.

It really seemed to work. Although I still missed her so much, I felt like she was there with me. The trips to Mrs. Peak's office became fewer and I eventually learned how to spend the day at school without my mom.

I love this picture and I still have it, twenty-four years later. I took it to college with me and I still keep it on my desk at home because no matter how old you are, you can still miss your mom.

And now I want to cry. Sorry Mom, you're probably tearing up, too. Keep reading my blog and know that I still miss and love you very much!

AAaa-choOO!

No, that's not ragweed pollen, that's my website as a graph. How cool is that. You can graph your own site by going here: Websites As Graphs. A pretty cool way to waste some time for no real reason.

The Joys of Being Antisocial

Think back. Can you remember your high school yearbook quote? Was it something lame? Some lyrics to a song you thought ROCKED the year you graduated? I remember my quote exactly and I think of it and repeat it to myself all the time. Here it is, complete with a picture and some lovely stats of how I spent my four years of high school.


To everyone who read that quote back in 1994 when I graduated, and even those reading it now, I must have seemed like someone who wanted to say something profound about fashion. Or to look cool quoting Jane’s Addiction. Not so. To me, this quote is so plain and so true. It’s a quote about fitting in. And I still feel like I don’t fit in anywhere I go.

I wish I knew everyone’s nickname, all their slang and all their sayings. Some days I wish I didn’t have the ability speak at all because everything I say seems to come out wrong. People are mad at me, I say stupid things, I can’t express myself. I just can’t fit in. I feel like this every time I’m at a party. I don’t know how to talk to people. I don’t know how to interact. I hate small talk. I’m sarcastic, but apparently I look very unsarcastic and when I break out the wit it horrifies people. They don’t get that I’m being funny and there are painful eternities of awkward silence. Sadly, sarcasm is how I deal with feeling awkward, so I whip out some more and it all just gets worse. Just cut out my tongue.

Every way to show affection, how to dress to fit the occasion. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve leaned in toward someone when greeting them, and I think we’re hugging, but really we’re supposed to… what? Kiss? But I barely know you! I’ve gotten dozens of smeared lips across my cheek as I go for the hug and they’re aiming for the kiss. OK, if we’re supposed to kiss, can we do it on the cheek? I’m not too keen on the mouth-kissing. I’m with Julia Roberts on that one. A little too intimate for some guy I see once a year. Who do you think you are, expecting a kiss from someone you barely know? You’re not Santa Claus, I’m not going to sit on your lap. Why would I kiss you? How about a hug instead? It’s so uncomfortable. It makes me feel miserable. My inner eight-year old flinches and squeals “eeew gross”. It makes me feel like the crazy one, but shouldn’t they be the one feeling bad? They of the casual lip-lock?

Everyone feels a little lost in high school but I thought I might get over this some day. Let’s see, mmm… twelve years later. Nope. I guess not.

This past weekend I spent Saturday and Sunday partying with friends and non-friends. The non-friend parties just plain wore me out. Friends of friends are the ones who exhaust me and send me to the ladies’ room, just so I can be alone for a minute. I sit in the quiet of my small porcelain sanctuary, head in my hands while saying to myself, “I wish I knew everyone’s nickname, all their slang and all their sayings…”

This is why I like blogging. It makes me feel like part of the world, yet I don’t have to actually talk to anyone! I can be incredibly social, posting every day, writing all about myself, bla, bla, bla, me, me, me. But I can do it in a gloriously antisocial way. All alone in my office, mouth shut, no talking, no greeting people, no dodging of the lip-smackers. Aah, blissful antisocial blogging. It’s heaven.

Fruit Dip (with Added Addictive Qualities)

Sometimes Betty Homecrocker (as Beth likes to call me) likes to share her cooking secrets. This is one of those times. I forgot about this recipe until last week when I walked past a big display of Marshmallow Fluff on sale at the grocery store. My sister made it months ago and it was so good. I made it for a party I went to this weekend and it was even better than I had remembered. I forced myself to throw the leftovers out so as not to find myself eating it with a spoon later on. Spme people said it tasetd like cake icing - I think it tastes like heaven.

Fruit Dip

1 8oz. block of cream cheese, softened
1/2 of one large tub of Marshmallow Fluff
A few shakes of cinnamon

Put it all in a bowl and whip it with a hand mixer until it's smooth and creamy. Dip friut, your fingers, whatever into it and enjoy.

I served apple slices with it - super yummy. If you cut up apples for the dip, remember to sprinkle them with lemon juice to keep them from getting brown. Plus they give the dip an even yummier lemon icing taste.

Lazy

Lazy is how I'm feeling right now. Too lazy to collect my thoughts into a proper post. I'll just leave you with this instead. Proof of Molly's drunken debauchery this past weekend. She drank all of Luke's Rolling Rock and fell asleep on the beach blanket. What a life.

New Updates and an August Sale!

I finally got around to updating a few parts of my website last night. It's been so long since I had the time, according to the link on the Bio page, I've beed reading the same book since February. The biggest change is the Gifts page which now looks like this:

Pretty, huh? And I know, I spelled commission wrong. Trying to type while having a sneezing allergy attack - not easy. I have to fix that tonight.

I also marked down a few things on my Etsy jewelry shop, Jewelry by Lisa Gaumond.


All in-stock anklets are 50% off. You can score yourself an end-of-summer ankle bracelet for only $10. Get them while they last. There's also a brand new "Funky Francesca" charm bracelet available. Go check it out!

Starstruck

Playing around with Statcounter this morning to see who is reading this blog and where they're coming from, I noticed a few referring links that begin with www.croncast.com.

I followed the links and... HOLY CRAP! I'm on the Croncast blog! Woo-hoo! I'm almost famous.

I thought it was pretty exciting back in June when I Googled "Americade 2006" and Artsy Fartsy was the first site returned. This is way better.

Thanks Kris and Betsy!

Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain

Have you ever listened to someone on the radio and formed a complete picture of what that person must look like in your head, than seen what they actually look like in person and it made your head hurt because your picture was so totally wrong?

Well that happened to me this weekend.

Last week I started listening to a new podcast. I downloaded my first two Croncast podcasts. They were recommended to me by the host of another podcast I listen to all the time, Morning Stories. From the first word uttered, I knew I would love this podcast. It’s a half-hour of Kris and Betsy Smith, a young, married couple living outside of Chicago, talking about life and family and selling crap on ebay and getting a dog. Normal, everyday stuff made so funny.

Kris has the most amazing, deep, rich voice I’ve ever heard. I love deep voices so much that I don’t even care what they’re saying, but this voice was actually saying really funny stuff. Betsy has a slightly squeaky voice and a slight Midwestern accent that made me like her immediately. She talks really fast and is completely wacky but so lovable. Kris and Betsy chat and argue, pick on each other, and they very obviously love each other very much and have a lot of fun together. It makes me smile hearing them laugh at each other and argue about getting a new dog, which was the main topic of the first two podcasts I heard last week.

I had a complete picture figured out in my head of what the two of them looked like. Kris was tall and lanky. Paleish skin and dark brown hair, parted on the side. Small, wire-rimmed glasses. Big hands, smooth face. Quiet and reserved. Betsy was short and petite. Tiny and cute. She had short, blond hair and funky glasses. She was very stylish and funky to go along with her spunk.

Totally wrong.

This is a shot of them from their website:

At least I got the glasses right. Now as I listen, I flicker back and forth from the image I used to have in my head, to the actual image of them – it’s very distracting. This morning as I listened I decided to just imagine them the way I originally imagined them, it’s just easier that way.

I was thinking about writing this entry as I was getting ready for work this morning because it was still bothering me how I was so off-base with what Kris and Betsy looked like. Then I got in my car to drive to work, plugged in the iPod and listened to the latest Croncast on the ride in. At the end of the show, they announced another great reason for me to tell you all about Croncast. A contest to attract new listeners where current listeners refer new listeners, new listeners sign up at the website and tell them who referred them. The 300th new listener to sign up will win a new iPod, as well the person who referred them. Awesome, huh? So go, listen, sign up, download, and laugh! And don't forget to tell them who sent you. (My Croncast handle is LisaLisa.) You won't be sorry, and you don't even need an iPod to listen. You can listen right from your computer. Go now! Laugh yourself silly.

Pretty

Check out these little ceramic beads I painted. I love them! My fiend Paula invited me to go to Pottery U Paint in Vernon and I was all stressed out because when you paint pottery, it never comes out the way you expected it to and it can be really disappointing. But this time - I found BEADS! It, seriously, took four hours for us to get out of there and I painted four beads! But I painted both sides! Here's a (slightly blurry) shot if the other side:
Cute or what? They look like candy! Now I have to figure out what to make with them...

And for my next trick...

You may not be aware of my secret crush on Motocross cutie-pie Travis Pastrana, and you may not really care about the X-Games, but you really need to see this video:

Thank you to kottke.org for the heads-up. Travis pulls the first ever double back flip on a dirt bike at the X-Games. AWE-SOME!

Pug Hill

Last week I finished a very sweet book that you should all allow yourselves to read - Pug Hill by Alison Pace. It’s taken me this long to finish my review because I wanted to be honest about the book, but not discourage anyone from reading it at the same time. Make no mistake, I loved the book, but I just felt like there was something missing from it. Reading Pug Hill was like floating above the life of the main character, Hope, when what I really wanted to do was dive in and find out more.

I found the ad for Pug Hill one of my daily blogs, Cute Overload. I loved the cover (always important), the synopsis sounded light and fun and I thought it would be perfect for my next book club selection. So I bought it. And I loved it.

If any of you have read Sammy's Hill (hi Amanda and Flannery!) you'll love the heroine of Pug Hill, Hope McNeil, a socially awkward, hopeless-in-love paintings restorer living in New York. She loves dogs, isn't sure she feels the same about her current boyfriend, lusts after her coworker, goes to Pug Hill in Central Park whenever she needs to get happy, and dreads a speech she has to give at her parents' upcoming anniversary party. She’s similar to Sammy in her clumsy zaniness, but Sammy’s character was more developed and Sammy’s Hill had more to the plot. (Consequently, if you haven’t read Sammy’s Hill, you really should. It was written by Kristin Gore – Al’s daughter – and it’s a fantastic, fun read.)

Hope is lovable and the story is sweet. I love her dad and cheer for good things to happen to every character (well, ALMOST every character). I love the dogs in the story, even Betsy, her mom's jealous, neurotic, insane Jack Russell. Hope’s “Overcoming Presentation Anxiety” classmates are wacky and fun and I felt physically anxious, myself, reading about them giving speeches in front of the class. It was an easy read and perfect for the summer heat, but it wasn't as deep as I'd like it to be. I don't know what I think the book needs, maybe just more pages! There are so many characters with vast amounts of wacky history that we are only given a glimpse of and that leaves me looking for more pages to read.

Hope's sister Darcy was the prettiest and most perfect daughter and now she's contemplating living on a commune with her boyfriend "C.P." (that stands for Crested Possum, I kid you not) whom her parents hate. I want to know more. Hope has had such a history with her best friends but they're just frilly glimpses of characters in the periphery. I want to know more. There’s a brief sprinkling of one of her friends who is married with a small child and the bits of story involving that friend are so random that I wonder if there WERE more pages to this story that were just edited out.

Pug Hill was light and fun and everyone should include it in their laying-in-the-hammock/sitting-on-the-beach reading list this summer. It has a very sweet, fairy tale ending, (is that the seventh time I’ve used “sweet” in this review? Time for me to find a thesaurus), and even though you know it’s completely improbable, it still makes you smile.

I think I might go look for Pace’s other book If Andy Warhol Had a Girlfriend. She has an easy writing style that makes for a great, quick read and sometimes that’s all a girl wants when it’s too hot to do anything else but sit in the shade with a good book. And a mojito.

Sooo Sleepy...

I know, the posts have been so boring lately, you're all starting to doze off like this guy. Sorry about that. But you don't have to snore so loud. Great, I lost another reader.Actually, these two lazy fellas are sketches for a new illustration gig. It's for a new sleep center and the line is "your nights of counting sheep are over". Cute, aren't they? Makes me want to go take a little nap. YAWN...

Molly's Soul Mate

Look at this pup, named Cash, who I found on Cute Overload:
OK, now look at this picture of Molly:Soul mates or what?? Too cute.

What a Weekend

My friend Amanda usually posts weekend recaps, or precaps, actually, on her blog talking about what she’s planning to do for the weekend and for this weekend, I feel compelled to do the same. It was a great weekend (even though I missed my friend Flannery's bridal shower).

Friday, I met my family at Max Amore in Glastonbury and then went over to Saint Joseph’s College to see our favorite play of all time – Forever Plaid. If you’ve never seen Forever Plaid, do yourself a favor and find it playing somewhere. It is hilarious and sweet and there’s great music from the 60’s. You’ll laugh till it hurts, I promise.

Saturday we had a barbecue at my friend Paula’s house to attend. Paula and her husband Karlo have been working their butts off this summer to transform their back yard into a Zen oasis, complete with fish ponds and a wooden bridge across them. This BBQ was the official christening of the back yard and it was a great time. Luke, Molly and I hung out and relaxed there until after 10 that night when they had to kick us out. Since Paula and Karlo live less than a quarter of a mile from our house, we all rode up there on Luke’s motorcycle (even Molly). This was Molly’s second trip to Paula’s on the motorcycle and she loved it. She laid on my lap and stuck her head out so her floppy ears caught the wind. She was in puppy heaven.

Sunday, we finally went for a nice motorcycle ride. Poor Luke was sick of me complaining that I never get to go for fun rides anymore. Every time I go for a ride, it’s to go to the Harley shop for parts or five hours on the highway in the rain. I invited some friends and my dad and we rode out to The Vanilla Bean Café in Pomfret. Everyone I know has been out there and told me that I need to go – I would love it. Well I sure did. It was a perfect morning and we had a nice ride out there. We ordered our yummy dishes and sat outside in the sun. It was perfect. The inside is cool, it’s like an old barn with funky decorations. There’s art on the walls and neat details everywhere. The food was excellent. I had the wild rice and corn pancakes benedict – dee-licious! And while we were eating, along came the most adorable, gigantic dog carrying the tiniest little toy in her mouth. It was Stella, the Bean’s resident café dog. She’s an English Bull Mastiff and she was all sweetness. She flopped down next to us and played with her little toy until we were finished eating and could get down on the ground and scratch her ears and have a chat with her. She was too cute. We left our perfect breakfast spot and headed home. Dad lead the way and we saw some great twists and turns and roads I didn’t even know existed. We parted ways and headed to our home to get ready for phase 2 of our Sunday.

We met our friends Dave and Sharon at the Main Pub for a lovely light lunch outside. Eating outside really makes you feel like you’re on vacation. It was great. Then we headed up to Main Street in Manchester where they were holding the annual car show. The town closes a section of Main Street to auto traffic and they fill the streets with old cars and music and vendors. It was ridiculously hot but we walked up and down the street, bumped into several people we knew, ate ice cream, and saw some beautiful cars. Luke said he wouldn’t build me a Nash Metropolitan – they’re so cute! But he’d consider building me a Karmen Ghia – almost as cute. This is, of course, after we win the lottery and he builds his Highboy first.

After the car show, we went home and relaxed, watched a couple of movies, made dinner and hung out. A nice way to end a great weekend!

You People Are Strange!

Tell me why this photo, of all my Flickr photos, has had the most views? Why? There are so many better photos out there. So many that don't contain early-morning-puffy-eye-double-chinned faces of me. What is wrong with you people?

Happy Birthday Molly!

My puppy, my pal, my partner in crime, my Molly turns four today. This is one of our first pictures of her, the night we brought her home. This is my favorite puppy picture. She was so TINY! It hurts to look at these pictures, her cuteness is painful to me. Happy birthday bud!